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Dear Real Life Parent:
It is truly our honor to walk alongside each and every Real Life participant. We
are grateful for the opportunity to minister with them and truly believe the
Kingdom will come because of their efforts.
As a leadership team we recognize that parenting a Real Life participant can be
just as much of a journey as the Real Life trip itself and want to provide some
insight into the process. Below are three sections that we feel will prove helpful in
understanding what we do: 1) What a parent needs to know, 2) The methods that
we use and 3) What you can expect from us. Please read these sections and
keep the end in mind as your participant walks through the next few months.
We are grateful for your prayers and support.
What a Real Life parent needs to know.
1. The world is unsafe.
The Real Life staff continue to stay educated and informed of safety concerns
and issues around the world by routinely reviewing travel and safety bulletins.
We compile regular feedback from our international contacts and have, on
occasion, changed locations based on information from these sources. Changes
are made with safety as our first priority even when this means changing an
advertised trip.
Your Real Life participant signed up for adventure, so we cannot stop them from
pushing their personal limits of safety. They have hopped on the back of
motorcycles in busy cities, bungee jumped from high cliffs in third world
countries, and engaged in other activities that may make us uneasy, but even in
light of these extreme activities, we maintain a minimum level of social security.
For example, there is always a mandate for them to travel together in groups. At
the end of the day some risk is a normal part of the adventure and discipleship
process.
2. The process is brutal.
"Initiation" is the process used for the radical discipleship we practice. In our
culture, young people often cannot reflect back to define the day they became
adults. In most cultures around the world there is a process put in place by tribal
and family leaders to facilitate this pivotal stage of development. Our young
people struggle with feelings of being illegitimate adults because there is no rite
of passage. The only option they are left with is rebellion that leads to a tearing
away from their parents. That tearing away may take years to mend and heal.
The Real Life program offers a healthy option to begin the process of initiation:
Abandonment
Everything starts with a call to leave the old security and structure and lean into
the challenge of moving into the unknown. They are asked to leave the rooms at
home, their dorm, their apartments, and the comfort of current close
relationships. They pack what they can in a suitcase and head to the other side
of the world. Their mission is the same as Abrahams: "get out of your country,
from your family, and from your father's house, to a land that I will show you"
(Gen 12:1).
Brokenness
This moving from the old leads into a season of insecurity and questioning. They
start the treacherous journey of leaving belief systems defined by others and
pursue their own pathway of faith toward God. It is a transition and, although
scary and painful, it is absolutely necessary. Their faith must become their own
through trial and questioning. A wonderful Ralph Waldo Emerson quote says:
"it's not in his goals but in his transitions that man is great".
Dependence
Brokenness leads them to find faith that is molded out of their own experiences
and creates a new dependence upon God. It's a nerve-racking time to swing
from one security net to the other. But in the end, this new dependence and faith
in God will serve them during this trip and for the rest of their lives. They will find
themselves saying "yes" to things that previous generations have been afraid to
embrace.
3. Communication should be limited.
While on the field there will be times when communication with the participants
could be difficult. Internet can be scarce and slow. There will be times when we
ask them to fully abandon and not be tied to facebook, skype and other means of
communicating back home. This is not done to sever ties with people at home,
but rather to help them fully engage in what they're experiencing on the field.
Participants are encouraged NOT to carry cell phones on the field. All of our
leaders carry phones and are in communication weekly with our field support
staff in case of emergency.
4. Our leaders are young.
We employ World Race and Real Life alumni as leaders for the teams of 10-25
participants. Their role is to care for the team, make sure the core values are
practiced, and communicate between our staff in the States and the participants
on the field. They will travel with the team and be on the field with them for the
duration of their trip.
Our field support staff in the States contacts all leaders on the field weekly.
There is ongoing leadership development that happens during these
conversations. On a regular basis mistakes are made. It is, after all, the best
leadership training. But our leaders must remain teachable or risk losing their
position. You need to know that your participant is not without an appeal
process. Every participant is informed of the appropriate communication
structure. We will always listen to concerns and encourage open communication
and respect of a chain of command.
5. You are in a position that requires you to trust.
Each Real Life participant needs a word from God to go on this adventure.
Ultimately, your parenting goal is to get them released from dependency upon
your voice and become dependent upon His. In the same way you trusted God
on the first day of school and university, you are going to have to trust God
through this process. Imputed trust must be exercised toward the Real Life staff.
We may not always do it your way, but we are working hard to do what's right.
Please pray for us.
6. Transition is hard for everyone.
The reality of the situation is that your Real Life participant is not sequestered for
3 months. We expect that they would continually update family, friends, mentors,
churches, etc. back home on a regular basis. With the limited communication
ability in some areas of the world, it is likely you may get the short, condensed,
and emotional updates from the field.
You may tend to hear more of the challenges than the victories, more of the
discomfort than the growth, and more of the insecurity than the development of
identity. Participants get sick, they experience conflict, they grapple with the loss
of independence and they live in an environment that consistently examines their
past hurts and scars. It is a process they will not find many other places because
the process is messy. However, the process is necessary. It takes time, it takes
pain, it takes trust. It is exactly what you may experience living half a world away
from it all. Transition is a fact of life, but transition is hard. We believe running
into the challenge has better results than running away. Choose to join us but
count the cost.
What are the tools we use?
1. Rough places
We find that participants are consistently drawn to the most challenging locations
we offer. They're expecting to live in a hut in Africa or in the slums of Nicaragua,
they are excited to experience a more primitive culture. They are drawn to real
places in the world where people live in real pain, in real poverty, and dire
situations. The reality is that hard places are a teaching tool in and of
themselves and are the best environment for change.
These environments are harsh physically, emotionally and spiritually. The
disillusionment participants have with the luxurious, yet unhappy Western world
is confronted when hands get dirty, emotions get charged from injustice, and
hearts get sensitized. We do not run from rough places but use them.
2. Close community
An overwhelming percentage of participants come in with poor communication
abilities. They have not been in safe communities where feedback (both positive
and constructive) is a norm or where conflict is managed in a healthy way. We
provide them a community that cannot escape itself (after all, they may be the
only English-speakers in a given area on occasion). This approach reveals any
arrogant self-entitlements they may hold close and provides them an immediate
growth opportunity to learn humility and selflessness.
3. Honest feedback
Leaders, staff and authorities in each participant's life know that growth does not
come void of a challenge to change. Sports coaches would fail if they did not
correct and re-correct skills needed to perform at greater competency.
Subsequently, maturity does not come without feedback. Real Life employs a
method for honest feedback both from peers and leaders. The goal is this: to
help participants reach their fullest potential as healthy adults. Know this:
feedback is not an easy process to learn or to experience. You may be the
recipient of your participant processing feedback they have received. Please do
not rescue them. Just as if they were learning a sport, they will never progress
unless they embrace the words they receive.
4. The presence of God
One of the foundations of our discipleship model is that each participant would
break dependency on everything but the presence of God in their lives. The
journey away from the familiar is imperative to this goal: they must journey away
from the guidance of family, the security of friends and the predictability of their
everyday lives. They must learn to rely on their own pursuit of the things of God
and not live a life where they are spoon-fed their worldview and theologies.
5. The voice of the Spirit
Throughout the duration of the trip, each participant will be expected to learn the
discipline of listening prayer. If God truly speaks and He gives us the ability to
discern his voice, then a life of listening to the Spirit of God on all occasions and
for every purpose is the best life possible.
Everything from living in community to a lifestyle of evangelism to braving new
frontiers will be rooted in the lifestyle practice of listening to the voice of the Holy
Spirit. It is a new concept to most of the participants, but has life-changing
results.
6. A constant challenge to mature
The shaping and molding of identity starts from the moment of birth. However,
the ownership of this "shaping and molding" changes hands to each racer when
they take responsibility for their adult life. Their own growth, their own destiny,
their own voice - everything is fed from this ownership being assumed. Each
participant will be treated as an adult. They will be expected to make decisions
as an adult, communicate like an adult, and take responsibility as an adult. The
time for childhood has passed and if they are to change the world, they must
change themselves. When they do, God's Kingdom will truly come.
What you can expect from us.
1. A desire for your participant to succeed
While we may be meeting your participant for the first time at Training Camp, we
genuinely have a desire for them to succeed and for this trip to be the best
possible experience for them. The tools that we use are employed only because
we want to see participants reach their fullest potential and the leaders we place
on the field are committed to investing in each of the participants.
We read all the participants blogs, we pray for the teams regularly, we rejoice in
their victories and mourn in their losses. While we may only spend a short time
with them, we truly want to see greatness in them all.
2. Communication
Because communication from the field is limited, we are committed to keeping
you informed in case of an emergency. In case your participant is sick or in an
accident, you will receive a phone call from us within 24 hours. In case of an
emergency in country (such as a natural disaster), the team leader will
communicate with us as soon as possible that everyone is ok and we will in turn
let you know immediately. We ask you to trust that since we will communicate
with you as needed, ‘no news really is good news.’
We also realize that life continues back here at home while your participant is on
the field. Should you need to get in touch with your participant in case of an
emergency at home, you can reach us at 1-800-881-2461. We will be able to
reach the team within 24 hours.
3. Emergency Travel Arrangements
On rare occasions, there is a need for participants to return home early. This
could be due to sickness on the field that we determine needs to be treated at
home. This could be due to an emergency here that requires a participant to
return home. It could be because a participant is unable to engage in the team
or ministry on the field. Whether this is voluntary or not, we will work with you to
rearrange travel plans and rebook flights if necessary.
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